Found on RunnersWorld.com and written by Dawana Hug
She finds her strength in running.
This summer I hit my head somethin’ fierce at work and was put out of commission by the doctor for almost three weeks with a concussion.
Having the actual concussion wasn’t really a big deal to me, until it started to sink in that I was going to be sidelined from doing the one thing I love to hate—the one thing I swear keeps me sane.
I tried to do yoga, but the dizziness had me completely off balance and downward dog was feelin’ more like “lay on its side dog.” I have a very difficult time following directions sometimes, but after a failed yoga attempt, I decided to listen to the doctor and do a whole lot of nothing. That was fun…
Until it wasn’t.
My inability to run and work out was completely suffocating me.
“Well, if I can’t run, what the hell can I do?”
“I can’t even go to the gym. This friggin’ sucks.”
**Insert “Whoa Is Me” statement here.**
I became extremely grumpy, short with those around me, angry and sad.
This really shocked me. What was my problem?!
The changes in my mood helped me realize how much exercise—specifically running—has become my lifeline. I am a happier, more involved, more energetic, more present wife/mommy/friend/educator and human being when I can get those endorphins going.
I know that many people can say this, but for me, this is huge.
I haven’t had much success with meds in the past, and my therapist has been an integral part of my “success” as she has taught me how to identify my triggers. But something was still missing. She kept prompting me to find something to do for myself—something that I enjoyed that would allow me to have time alone to decompress and think.
Running, among other things, helps to keep my symptoms under control.
We all have different reasons to run, To meet a goal. To be successful. To stay fit. To break records.
I run for my sanity. I run because I’m trying to run away from my diagnoses—from the labels that sometimes stifle me. Part of me feels like if I keep running, I’ll be cured. But I know that’s not the case. I run to quiet my mind, to silence the self-deprecating thoughts that at times cripple me. I run because running makes me feel strong, and feeling strong makes me feel confident.
My name is Dawana. I have depression and anxiety, and I run for my life.
Why do you run?